I’m one of those strange people that love forwards – especially the funny ones. I read them all and some stand out more then others. I even have passengers from the Schooner J&E Riggin that send them to me – and I have to say I the ones they send along are some of the best ones I get.
I just got one this morning from Norm who lives out in Missouri – actually we call him the President of Missouri. He has a blog too. I always love reading what he has to say 😉
The one he sent today had “Truths of Life” in the subject line and started with “Wise Words Indeed”. Of course I opened it because who couldn’t use some “wise word” now and again. I read each line shaking my head in agreement and even laughing out loud at some of them. I agree – they are wise words indeed.
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don’t worry about what people think; they don’t do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
6. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
7. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
8. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
9. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
10. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
13. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
14. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
15. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
16. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.
17. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
18. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
19. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
20. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
21. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
22. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
23. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
24. There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’
25. People who want to share their religious (or political) views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
26. You should not confuse your career with your life.
27. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
28. Never lick a steak knife.
29. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
30. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
31. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
32. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
33. Your friends love you anyway.
34. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
35. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
36. Never squat with spurs on!
I hope you enjoyed your wise words. Have a fabulous day.
This afternoon I’m headed off to the 4th annual Windjammer Parade – hopefully I’ll get some great shots like last year. More on that later with the photo of the day.